Sunday, April 17, 2011

New Story: Adverts

Hello sci-fi fans, here is a new story:

            “So which holo-tunic are you wearing today,” asked Herman. Hank’s beeper went off right before he could answer. “If you come over to my house today, you’ll notice the clean floors, all thanks to Dimension floor sanitizer. That’s right Dimension is number one in household flooring cleansers. The easy to apply liquid clings to a Dimension brand mop and lets go when cleaning is over. You can find Dimension floor cleaner and mop at any Dimension super store. Call 1-800-Dimension for a store directory to find one near you.” Hank rattled off the Dimension sales pitch while his full body holo-tunic flashed the Dimension logo. Bright colors filled the otherwise drab kitchen. Hank stood at over 7 feet tall. He was a perfect walking advertisement. His friend Herman was merely 6 foot 10 inches. Herman was wearing a holo-tunic displaying the Signet brand Hammer logo. He still had a few minutes before his beeper went off.
            “Sorry about that Herman, you caught me right before a pitch.” Said Hank.
The people of New America each worked for several mega-corporations. Their housing, food, transportation, entertainment, money and health care are all covered. The only hitch is that every citizen has to don a holo tunic every day, along with special glasses that have a slogan scrolling across the inside lenses. Each day was a different advertisement. Once the wearer put on the tunic and glasses, they would have to repeat a slogan, preferably when others are around, and slowly rotate while lifting their arms so that each side of the tunic would be visible. The people are walking advertisements. Their beepers would go off, approximately fifty times each day. Whenever the beeper sounded, the citizen would have to recite the slogan and slowly turn around. The taller, larger individuals were selected for over several generations. The average height of a citizen of New American is 6 foot 6 inches, and the average weight is 300 pounds, the bigger the advert the better.
“Oh that’s no problem, time will be up for mine soon enough. Did you hear about the new record for largest baby? A 20 pound boy was born this morning! Can you believe that?” Herman asked.
            “Geez, how big is his Mom? She must be massive.” Hank said.
            “Get this; she’s 7 foot 5 inches and 340 pounds, the second largest woman in the country!” Herman exclaimed.
            Herman’s beeper went off: “when you reach for the proper tool for the job don’t forget to pack your brand new Signet Hammer. Signet Hammers are built to comfortably fit in your hand. The galvanized steel handle will ease you into any home construction, craft, carpentry, or leisure project. Signet also includes a box of ultra sturdy nails with your first order. Call now to receive your free box of nails with any order of Signet Hammers. Call 1-800-Signet, that’s right 1-800 S..I..G..N..E..T. If you’re not satisfied with your Signet Hammer, return it today for a full refund. That’s right.” Herman recited in a deep monotone voice.   

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